Nothing Personal
by sol113
Summary: Words to live and die by in a world of ninja driven by a barely controlled insanity. AU after Sasuke/Itachi battle as Uchiha Sasuke is hunted by various parties including one whose skills he is not qualified to handle... Warnings for sex, death and the trope of oversized boobs!
1. Chapter 1

**NOTHING PERSONAL **

**CHAPTER 1- AND WHERE THE OFFENSE IS, LET THE GREAT AXE FALL.**

**AUTHORS NOTES **

**AU take involving a very different Naruto. **

**This fic is multiple pairing. **

**Warning; **

**'This' means someone is thinking. **

**Italics alone means the name of something, i.e. _Jinchuriki, Katon Jutsu_. **

**Horizontal ruler (a line across the page) means a page break or timeskip. It may be a few minutes, it may be a few hours... **

**-X- means a scene change, i.e. we start with Naruto in an office then we go to Naruto alone in the street. **

**Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto or any of the characters or ideas involved. This is non-profit-I am making no money from this. **

* * *

_A man who desires revenge should dig two graves._ \- unknown

_He who plots to hurt others often hurts himself._ \- Aesop (c.620-560 BC)

_You cannot get ahead while you are getting even._ \- Dick Armey.

**After the death of Uchiha Itachi…**

_"Like you Sasuke, I am a survivor of the Uchiha clan…"_

Those words echoed in Sasuke's head as the true last of the Uchiha stumbled onwards. Everything felt wrong- numb since he had left that cave. He had woken from his battle with Itachi, seen a strange man in a bizarre looking spiral patterned orange mask.

A dark ancient sounding voice had babbled something… he had a sharingan. Was he the one who assisted Itachi in slaughtering the Uchiha clan?

He'd never know, as soon as the stranger began to remove his gaudy mask… a ghost appeared… of sorts… the _Amaterasu_, _Itachi's _Amaterasu- erupted from Sasuke's left eye in a blaze of pain for Sasuke and sheer terror for its target. The black flames leapt forth and consumed the mystery man- striking him in the face. The fire or whatever the hell the black construct was, killed the masked man erasing his face, neck and part of his chest before vanishing into nothingness. Fighting through the pulsing agony in his now bleeding eye had stared in disbelief at the headless corpse for… hours it seemed before staggering off out of the cave.

He had staggered for days until a pack of bandits had stupidly attacked him. He had hacked down the idiots with little conscious thought, stole their money and stumbled into a town to feel… something other than cold.

**-X-**

**Not far away...**

In the dirt track streets of _Kasuka town_, a mining outpost turned small settlement in _Bachiatari no kuni_, the land of the cursed, an ancient land of mysteries such as the striking skeletons of giant monsters and strange accidents to many who strayed far from civilizations light, strode a figure who stood out amongst the miners and traders and travelers like a diamond in a mountain of coal.

A tight white kimono of thin, silk-like, near transparent material shimmered in the evening light showing off the amazing figure of a woman; an hourglass figure with her body curving inwards from her upper body with an almost cliff-like fall like drama before exploding out again in wide hips attached to powerful legs that seemed a mile long. However, the thing about the woman that truly drew all attention like moths to an inferno were her 'assets'.

To put it mildly she was well-endowed. Her breasts would give the _sannin slug princess_ a run for her money. Rising up and out from her chest, pushing against the thin fabric of her kimono with such volume anyone would have cattily said she was padding if the kimono didn't have a dip in the folds at the middle showing a daring, if not scandalous amount of upper and mid bare cleavage to the naked eyes. As she moved, or even breathed heavily, the mounds bounced slightly, as neither bras nor chest wrappings could hold their astonishing volume in check.

The kimono had long sleeves, ended just above ankles with a dramatic slit down one side with what looked like a corset around her waist. Both the corset and the kimono were white with a black dot pattern over the arms with sleeves to the wrists. She wore high boots, no gloves, but white bands over her forearms with the same dot pattern.

She looked strong and powerful, smart and sexy, cold and dangerous if you bothered to look.

One such person who did look was Toshiro, a twelve year old who turned to pick pocketing for the local crime boss after his dirt poor parents sold him to pay off a debt.

Toshiro figured the big chested lady was some wealthy merchant's trophy wife out shopping. Sneakily he maneuvered close to the taller woman intended to glide past her with a handful of money.

His hand swept out-and missed as the towering blond moved out of the way at the last possible second. Toshiro felt terror as something brushed against his hand. The mystery blond continued walking as though nothing had happened. Toshiro ran into a nearby alley heart racing in terror. He saw a strange dot on his hand. Confused he rubbed at it thinking it a grease stain.

Toshiro had no way of knowing it was a seal, an example of _Fuuinjutsu;_ contained inside was a fast acting nerve toxin that entered his body through skin pores, mixed in with the blood, flowed to the heart and caused the cardiac muscle to stop pumping blood around the body. Toshiro the thief died in the alleyway a victim of the _venom touch_ sealing technique of assassins skilled in sealing jutsu.

Moments later the sealing construct collapsed and disappeared, the toxin in the now corpses blood stream broke down becoming near untraceable.

Not a trace of regret showed on the intelligent and lovely features of the _kunoichi_ known as Samui. She coldly moved on, she hadn't gotten dressed up for a common pickpocket...

**-X-**

Sasuke didn't know where he was, he had escaped from the cold darkness of the cavern and found himself in a windy eerie graveyard of monstrous giant skeletons. He had stumbled down a deadly silent mountainous region in a daze, not knowing what to do now that Itachi was dead.

Sasuke didn't remember how he made it into this town. He didn't bother to look at the name, he just felt himself pulled to the lights, the warmth of… something.

He sleepwalked into a bar- he'd never been in one, and his first one ever looked like a dump, constructed of uneven, worn down wood with a foul smell in the air. Possibly from the patrons, mostly unkempt miners and whores.

Sasuke had never drunk even Sake even after all he'd seen and done. He blinked.

_'Might as well toast now that I… truly am the last of the Uchiha now.'_

A passed a group of sailors complaining about a fierce storm in the sea blocking trade routes from Kasuka town to Kumo's western ports.

Bonelessly, he sat down at the bar counter. The missing nin still wore the costume from his battle with Itachi, clothing torn, burnt in places. The cloak he wore was stolen from the masked man's place.

He ordered some _Iron country Whiskey_\- he remembered his father drank it once. It seemed to make him happier.

_'God, I really am the last… There's no one left… There's nothing left of us…'_

He took a single gulp of the liquid, and spat most of it up again, choking as it burned his mouth and throat.

"Kafkaf! Fuck!" His despair broke as he looked around and wondered how many of the rough dangerous men in the bar saw him make a fool of himself.

"So you see... Takagi... there's this magic godtree... an' this princess eats the fruit of this tree an' she becomes... like a goddess! And she gives birth to all a da' ninja today!"

"Man, that's the most retarded thing I've ever heard." He narrowed his eyes at the clearly crocked man. "What the hell are you smoking?"

"Opium." He answered matter-of-factly.

"You really shoulda quit a while back." He shook his head as he paid his bill.

_'Guess no one noticed me...'_

The brooding Uchiha jumped as a voice came over his shoulder; dignified, strong, feminine.

"Ambitious choice. You should try a less strong drink first though."

Sasuke turned in annoyance. and froze, alcohol blurred eyes widening and staring at the stunning stranger; icy light blue eyes that showed both intelligence and control, fair-colored skin, and golden colored hair arranged in a short bob style that framed an intelligent and lovely face. She wore a white kimono laying across a tall curvaceous figure with a corset-like garment around her trim waist that fit tightly around her body showing her voluptuous physique.

What was most striking about the stranger was that she had very large breasts that were wonderfully showcased as she deeply bowed introducing herself.

"I am Samui. And you would be…"

The dumbstruck Sasuke missed her intro as he gawked at her; She looked like one of Naruto's sexual fantasies… actually she looked like one of Naruto's 'repeats'; huge breasts, voluptuous figure, long powerful legs, a pretty face framed by a not unappealing bob cut- with her over-sexualized appearance he bet she was popular with the boys- probably that letch Naruto had fucked her twice- it seemed the idiot ANBU had screwed everything else with a vagina.

The pair sat, Sasuke muttering and complaining to his drink, to his mystery guest, to thin air. Samui calmly listened and downed her alcohol with much more ease than the increasingly plastered Uchiha.

Despite being drunk Sasuke's brain clicked into gear enough to collect his thoughts; Itachi was dead. The murderer of his clan, his family, was dead. He was dead. His family was avenged. They could rest in peace in the afterlife. All his years of training and cutting him off from others had paid off.

_'What do I do now?'_

He truly was the last Uchiha now.

Even assuming he cared enough to count, Sasuke would have had no idea of how much he'd drank, his flawless vision showed him blurs of the world around him- colors brighter, beautiful, his body felt warm but he didn't feel any happier. His vision blurred and he felt sick. The mystery blond had finished her drink and didn't even look buzzed.

"What… what do I do now…?" He really had no idea. His whole life was centered around revenge, there was nothing else.

"Hmm, I have some ideas…" Samui took Sasuke's jittering hand in hers in a steel hard grip. She walked off pulling the bewildered Uchiha with her much to the bars patron's disappointment.

**-X-**

Unbeknownst to the pair, amongst the miners of Kasuka town was a spy for Konohagakure, a chunin named Cho who had been tasked with monitoring mining and selling of antiques and lost civilization relics on the black market.

Cho discreetly left and reported his findings via a giant avian summon that could use chakra enhanced winds to fly at supersonic speed.

_'I only hope Konoha sends a force to deal with Uchiha in time, between his Uchiha blood, sharingan and whatever knowledge and powers he acquired from Orochimaru there is truly nothing that fiend can't do...'_

**-X-**

Sasuke sat on the bed head down, looking at the floor red faced. Behind him sat a voluptuous blond woman. Both were undressed and breathing heavily.

The woman spoke first; "It's okay Sasuke. You've been through traumatic times, so it's no surprise that you... weren't able to perform." The voice was calm, intelligent- so unlike the seemingly perverse form it flowed from.

Sasuke was humiliated and angry- it burned the alcohol from him.

After stumbling into an unknown bar in an unknown frontier town in an unknown country and deciding to get drunk for the first time in his life he had met a female who wasn't a shrill, useless fangirl and… They ended up in a hotel together and they undressed and he… couldn't perform. Sasuke turned to the alluring mystery woman who called herself Samui.

"I want to try again."

"Fine but I'm in charge this time." She stated flatly.

Sasuke was once again taken aback by meeting a female who actually had self-control and dignity. "...Okay?"

The bed creaked loudly and scraped across the wooden floor as Samui dived on top of Sasuke who stared up in disbelief as he was knocked back down.

The rogue ninja gasped as Samui worked his body with fast and nimble hands and mouth. She straddled him. The blonde had shed the kimono revealing plain white undergarments; plain white briefs and a bra that looked ready to snap under the weight of the huge mounds of meat they held up.

Battle calloused hands crudely groped her- his inexperienced hands nervous, grasping and uncertain. He gaped and smiled stupidly overwhelmed as he pawed at her voluptuous body. He squeezed her ass gasping as his fingers sank into the ample flesh while looking up he gulped at the bosom so large it blocked the blonde's lovely face from his view. Even though it was held within a bra it bounced in a way that was hypnotic to the male beneath.

Pressed down on the bed under this amazing woman's power, Sasuke couldn't remember a time when he felt this alive. It wasn't the surge found in combat but something unfamiliar to him. He couldn't think of anything beyond the power of the soft thighs wrapped around his waist, the feel of hands and nails and lips across his body, the heat from her lovely body.

Samui felt the lust and fear coming from the male beneath her and knew how to direct it, control it, she had a lot of experience. She ran her nails up and down the drunkenly smiling males' chest and the Uchiha had the weirdest image of knives stabbing into him, the blond atop him smiled and he had another feeling of fear run through him.

Samui adjusted her position; her improbably perfect curves a stark contrast to the effeminate male beneath her. She seated herself atop Sasuke's slender form, grabbed the slightly smaller male by his head and pulled the shocked teen up roughly- he didn't resist(he realized he seemed to like the rough stuff), and locked her powerful legs around his waist, her ass cheeks molding around his rock hard erection still in his garish purple undergarments. Sasuke was near eye level with Samui's huge bosom and he stared open-eyed as the blond pulled her overworked bra down.

Samui's legs scissored out then snapped shut back around Sasuke's lean body locking his arms to his sides. Before the wide-eyed Uchiha could think, Samui grabbed his head and buried it between her breasts. She pulled Sasuke's head forwards while squeezing her already massive breast together making them squash and expand further from her body to the point where they covered her companions' ears.

Sasuke's eyes widened to darkness as his head was covered by Samui's overflowing cleavage. Soft, hot flesh covered Sasuke's cheeks and ears and the Uchiha heard Samui's deafeningly heartbeat (or was it his own?).

Still with a drunken grin on his face, Sasuke nuzzled against the soft walls of flesh his head had been inserted into. His vision was black as Samui's body blocked his sight, his other senses were in overload though;

Touch, heat flowed through Sasuke's red-hot skin as soft flesh molded over his face, his forehead and nose touched her sternum proper while her mammaries covered seemingly his whole head. The back of his head meanwhile was held in a vice-tight grip in hot, strong fingers.

Sasuke's mouth opened and a mouthful of tit flesh entered. Sasuke licked it loving the taste, sweet, sweat but also a soap or oil had recently been used on her smooth, soft skin. He pulled back to get some air but Samui held his head deep inside the valley of her cleavage- the grip on the back of Sasuke's head- in his hair was iron solid.

Sasuke commanded his arms to rise up and throw the blond off but amazingly his arm strength proved insignificant. Samui's legs, locked around Sasuke's waist like a sensual boa constrictor increased their grip putting incredible pressure on the now oxygen deprived teens waist and chest. He panicked and began thrashing in the now life-threatening woman's grip. Creaking sounds as ribs cracked were hidden by the sounds of the bed the pair were on shaking and grating against the floor as the suffocating nukenin struggled in his fleshy prison.

The trapped ninja instinctively commanded his chakra to rise, transform into lightning and fry the clearly crazed bitch- except his chakra ignored him- no sparks. In panic he attempted fire and inhaled a mouthful of heaving mammary gland.

He tried to shout out but the sounds were muted by the flesh pressing against him. The bed creaked and shook violently as Sasuke panicked and thrashed trying to escape as he was smothered and crushed in Samui's grasp.

Still sitting, Samui coldly, slowly increased her grip on her victims waist, her hugely powered thighs closed tighter and tighter cracking Sasuke's ribs and squeezing the breath out of his burning lungs as she held his head locked in her bosom prison. The poison lipstick she wore, while tasteless, had negated Sasuke's ability to build and manipulate chakra so he had no way of breaking loose given Samui's incredible, well trained musculature. She held him tighter, tighter until the Uchiha stopped thrashing and the resistance of his arms and chest disappeared.

Samui didn't loosen her grip though- she went harder, crushing bones, squeezing organs and blood vessels, making absolutely sure her target was dead.

Sasuke's lungs burned, his chest was being crushed- he needed air…

His eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Uchiha Sasuke died, asphyxiated between the abnormally large breasts of Samui, member of _Kumogakure Remote Acquisition Squadron_.

Samui took a breath. She flipped her hair back her expression one of minor annoyance.

_'The things I do for Raikage and country…'_

**-X-**

**Later…**

Samui had sealed away the dead Uchiha's intact body inside one of her human remains scrolls, or as her associate Karui would call it "her scrap pile". As a member of the Remote Acquisition Squadron, also known as the "vulture Squadron" Samui's duty was to track ninja in possession of unusual physical abilities such as _Kekkei genkai_, drug enhancements, seal enhancements (like the recently deceased Orochimaru's curse seal of heaven) and acquire a sample of the blood, chakra or their intact body. The organization wasn't popular due to doing a lot of grave robbing in older days, with ninja villages burning the dead the RAS mostly did theft from ninja hospitals, private homes, battlefields and on rare occasion, assassination like Samui just expertly performed. Samui considered herself the best at what she did as she never failed or screwed up and got infamous like so called legends like, Konoha's Sannin or the sand villages _Akasuna no Sasori_.

It didn't pay to be well known in this business.

Behind her; a bell connected to cables that attached to an opened scroll via cables that vanished into continuous blue light rang in a light continuous chiming.

_'The sensor seals I set up around town…'_ She manipulated the open scroll and in a blank margin black ink shifted like a swarm of ants and an image of a man took shape. A man Samui recognized from a very dark and stupidly flamboyant reputation.

It was Konohagakure's "charming killer" Uzumaki Naruto.

'_Hm. Time for a double header…'_ She quickly showered preparing for her next target.

**-X- **

**END CHAPTER 1 **

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**AUTHORS NOTES **

Yes Tobi is dead in this- Itachi's trap with Amaterasu worked.

**Kasuka (Hazy) Town;** original village located relatively close to the mountains graveyard, formed relatively recently by miners who struck it rich.

**Bachiatari (cursed) No Kuni (Land of cursed);** my name for the land the Mountains Graveyard is located in.

**Ancient Civilization;** my explanation as to why advanced technology appears randomly in canon like computers at the hospital, security cameras and a VHS player at the Chunin exams.

**Venom Touch (C Class Fuuinjutsu); **original jutsu, it is a seal that can applied to a target with a single finger and release poison into their body. Experts link the seal with poisons that break down in the blood and modify the seal to self-destruct after target death to remove evidence of how the target died.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTHING PERSONAL**

**CHAPTER 2- The Golden Fucker  
**

**AUTHORS NOTES**

**AU take involving a very different Naruto.**

**This fic is multiple pairing.**

**Warning; Sex; multiple pairings.**

**'This' means someone is thinking.**

**Italics alone means the name of something, i.e. Jinchuriki, Katon Jutsu.**

**Horizontal ruler (a line across the page) means a page break or timeskip. It may be a few minutes, it may be a few hours...**

**-X- means a scene change, i.e. we start with Sakura in a clearing, then we go to Naruto and Hinata in the street.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto or any of the characters or ideas involved. This is non-profit-I am making no money from this.**

* * *

_Seventeen years after the fall of the Fourth Hokage, the shinobi village of Kohohagakure struggled to regain its lost military might, forging shinobi that would be considered heroes and monsters, genius and lunatics (often all these titles were bestowed on one person)._

_The new host of the Kyuubi no Kitsune was one of those people…_

**Hokage Tower, Hokage Office...**

"FUCK! WHERE IS THIS GODDAMNED PAPERWORK COMING FROM? IS IT SELF-REPLICATING?"

Senju Tsunade, last of the venerable Senju line and Fifth Hokage of the world's dominant ninja village cursed loudly as she swigged _Mori no Kuni_ sake with one hand while violently stamping signatures on enough paper documents to fell a forest.

Some documents dealt with the rising price of grain, the complexities of raising horses… others included a successful mission to blow up an ancient castle that had a hundred bandits in it. All In all, painfully boring for a medical ninja turned war hero turned legendary gambler turned honored shadow.

_'I need a real drink, not this watered down shit Shizune tossed at me-'_

Tsunade froze as one rage-inducing piece of paper caught her attention, a report from the ANBU stationed in Kasuka town, a mining town turned bustling trade center in Bachiatari no kuni. Everyone's favorite tragic prince turned traitor Uchiha Sasuke had been spotted there.

Her face was grim; Sasuke was a missing nin who had defected from the leaf village to the traitor Orochimaru several years ago following what his teacher Kakashi stated was a 'belief he wasn't gaining strength fast enough' to match and then kill his brother Itachi. A retrieval attempt by the ANBU two months ago had ended in multiple deaths, the lone survivor claiming Sasuke had cut down the leaf ninja and showing an immense increase in power and skill in the battle.

Since then the rogue Uchiha had apparently killed the snake sannin (Tsunade didn't know how the hell that happened), but remained rogue.

Tsunade felt no sympathy for the boy, Tsunade had seen massacres, torture, had lost family and her unborn child to miscarriage after learning of her fiancée Dan's death. And while she had sunk to incredible lows during her exile she never even considered harming another leaf ninja- except Orochimaru. And Jiraiya. But they both had it coming in their own ways.

Tsunade groaned and felt a headache coming on.

Between the training he had received from her former team mate, the suspected drug and Kinjutsu enhancement and Sharingan mastery there were only a handful of shinobi powerful enough to take him down existed. And all but one were out of the village. And it was the one she least wanted to deal with.

"Shizune! Where is Naruto?"

**-X-**

**Training Ground 18...**

Deep within Konoha's great forest, in a place far off the beaten path of travelers originally the site of a mass grave in fact, training ground 18 was bathed in warm sunlight with refreshing low gusts wind through the massive trees.

The weapons mistress known as Tenten sat in the lap of an athletic built blond male who himself attended to the kunoichi with skilled fingers across her back and ass while attending to her front with his mouth getting squirms and powerful twitches of pleasure from the tough kunoichi.

She was Tenten, a twenty year old '_clanless_' kunoichi born to unknown parents who now stood as a member of the infamous Team Gai and practitioner of a unique personalized fighting style that combined sealing jutsu, mixed weapons attacks and mixed taijutsu including several of Konoha's individual moves mixed in with the Untouched hand style.

The male was a nineteen year old yet both far more famous and infamous as 'The Charming Killer', the 'Hero Of Deadlight Mountain', 'Victor Of The Battle Of The Black River' and... 'The Golden Fucker', the last title meant both as hated insult and great respect.

He was Uzumaki Naruto, member of ANBU black ops, _1st Division, squad Epsilon_.

Both he and the chunin weapons specialist were naked in broad daylight except for a belt of sealing scrolls around Tentens curvy waist, two of them were open trailing long streams of intricately decorated paper.

Naruto dipped the moaning kunoichi in his grasp downwards arching her back until her twin hair buns nearly touched the grass. One of Tentens feminine yet calloused hands released the lean muscled back and glided across Naruto's ANBU tattoo, down to her belt hitching once when Naruto pressed a finger down on her clit. A pulse of chakra and the calligraphy of the paper glowed and exploded in a billow of smoke revealing a deadly sharp shuriken. She held it her hand. As if on cue Naruto began biting into Tentens's nipple and rubbing on a very sensitive spot between her legs, the razor sharp weapon trembled in the kunoichi's hand and with a deep breath she hurled the throwing star over her own shoulder seemingly blindly. It hit a human shaped target with a thump.

Naruto looked up from the breasts he was feasting on.

"Dead hit on the bullseye, Tenten." He spoke with a calm charming tone, the kunoichi writhing in his grip however grinned from ear to ear and withdrew another weapon, a kunai from her belt.

Without warning Naruto rolled them over putting himself on top and grabbing hold of both her arms.

"Arms immobilized. What now chunin Tenten?"

The trapped kunoichi scowled up at Naruto. Annoyed she flicked the kunai into the air, she twisted her legs around Naruto's waist and caught the razor sharp weapon handle first between her toes mere inches from where it would have stabbed into Naruto's back.

"Nice move." The ANBU showed no sign of worry over nearly getting knifed in the back during intercourse. _'It wasn't the first time that's happened.'_ Naruto thought.

Trying not to dwell on that after mission celebration with Mitarashi Anko in Tanzaku town, Naruto began pumping into Tenten so hard her whole body shook and her body rubbed the ground hard enough to dig into the soft earth and pull up grass.

The blade nearly fell out from her toes but she held it and gritting her teeth she flicked her foot forwards and sent the weapon on a trajectory that hit a practice dummy missing the heart and stabbing deep into its groin.

"You missed I'm afraid."

"I don't miss. Jerk!" Tenten growled before rolling Naruto back over putting herself back on top holding a hugely strong elbow to Naruto's throat as she began grinding atop the surprised but still calm assassin.

"AHEM."

The sound alerted both ninja to the presence of a black and grey armored ANBU kunoichi.

With absolutely no consideration of the situation she was in the ANBU flatly declared; "The fifth Hokage has ordered the presence of the Golden Fucker."

Tenten freaked out, she yelped and scrambled for her clothes discarded a good ten feet away. Naruto meanwhile just sat on the grass adopting a lotus position despite his undress, staring up at the ANBU he recognized as Uzuki Yuugao. He wondered if she was jealous, they both agreed that time after practice was recreational. As was the time at her apartment, and his. And at the civilian shelter they were 'investigating' for contraband.

Tenten glared at the ANBU who seemed to be ignoring her and focusing on Naruto

"I apologise for interrupting your...?"

"Target practice, specifically training to maintain focus during difficult circumstances." He spoke straight. He imagined that beneath the porcelain mask Yuugao was grinding her teeth and trying hard not to chop him up with her sword or Wind style techniques. Or castrate him with one of her medical techniques...

"Your dedication is admirable." She droned, though Naruto detected an octave of annoyance in her usually cool voice.

It was so fun to rile her up...

**-X-**

**Hokage office, not long later…**

An exasperated Tsunade stared levelly at the teenaged ANBU standing calmly before him;

Nearly two decades ago in a desperate struggle against the Nine Tailed Fox the Fourth Hokage sealed the demon away into a newborn baby, the fourths own son no less.

No one trustworthy wanted to adopt the demon container, and leaving a helpless orphan who could just as easily be a ticking time bomb alone amongst a population of tragedy scarred, bitter killers was not a good idea. So the child was unofficially adopted by the ANBU. Growing up, Naruto had a different "minder" each week- all ANBU operators and many not right in the head. With no stable family environment the boy became unwilling or unable to form emotional attachments with anyone. Mostly raised in a controlled environment Naruto officially entered ANBU at eight.

Tsunade knew that those who spent any amount of time with ANBU changed- it happened with Orochimaru and Jiraiya. Long term ANBU tended to develop habits that often turned into obsessions. It usually began as a method of coping and often escalated into a crutch; with Orochimaru it was seeking knowledge with no regard for the humans it was supposed to help, with Jiraiya it was brothels and writing smut. With Naruto it was…

She ground her teeth and pretended she couldn't smell the familiar mix of sweat, perfume and sexual juices all over Naruto.

She turned slightly and saw Shizune red as a tomato and sweating. No doubt she was hoping no one brought up Naruto's last physical.

**Flashback No 1;**

Naruto fell onto the cold metal operating table with a thud. Shizune jumped on top of him fully clothed in her usual kimono that now threatened to fall down her shoulders and trim body.

She ripped at his shirt and he ripped at her bra. Writhing together on the metal slab she took his wrists and forced his hands above his head. Shizune was sexually repressed and very stressed out from dealing with lady Tsunade's... Personality. Naruto was becoming well aware of this as the medic kunoichi clawed at his clothing, disrobing him.

_Flashback No 1 end._

**-X-**

Tsunade wasn't bothered that Shizune banged Naruto- she actually performed her job better after getting laid but being unprofessional pissed the gambling recreational drinker off. Tsunade stared at Naruto daring him to make a wisecrack about Shizune's 'bedside manner' or something. When nothing came she began talking.

"I have a high level mission for you Naruto. Try to keep this low-key, Kasuka Town is an unstable town. I don't want a repeat of the Fire Lords daughter."

"I create one political stir and you punish me forever. How unfair." Naruto stated with false offence.

Tsunade twitched at Naruto's impudence. "One? How about when I sent you to guard Lady Shion from those assassins?"

**Flashback No 2;**

Shion, revered and beloved priestess of the _Land of Demons_ sat in the lap of Jinchuriki assassin Uzumaki Naruto, eyes wide with glee and lust. The ninja and priestess engaged in intercourse in a pool blessed by generations of priests for physical and spiritual purification fed by a waterfall also said to be blessed to assist in the deepest of meditation.

Naruto blinked confused as Shion wrapped a silk strap of some kind around Naruto's neck.

"?!…"

She smiled challenging and predator like at Naruto.

_'Priestess, indeed...'_** Naruto thought as the gorgeous blond began moving up and down on him holding onto both ends of the strap squeezing his neck.**

Naruto's hands squeezed into Shion's silky smooth buttocks as she arched back pulling on the strap and gasping and smiling.

She sharply yanked him up to her face and rode in his lap releasing the strap as she looked down on him haughtily. She shoved him back down into the pool and slapped him across the face.

She looked down through pleasure lidded eyes annoyed that the petty underling beneath her didn't seem bothered by her slap.

Another slap rang out as she bounced on top of him harder and harder.

Taruho, assistant and bodyguard of the glorious priestess of the land of the demons walked out head lowered in deference to his revered mistress.

"Lady Shion, please forgive me for interrupting your sacred meditation, I have received an urgent missive from-" He froze as he saw Naruto and Shion's naked bodies moving together under the holy waterfall of temporal realm trance.

"INFIDEL! YOU HAVE VIOLATED LADY SHION!" He blew the alert whistle that brought one hundred spearmen charging in.

"KILL HIM! KILL THE DEFILER!"

_Flashback No 2 end._

**-X-**

"Or how about that job in White Mountain town?"

**Flashback No 3;**

The quite luxurious hotel room No 17 of the White Rock hotel was a mess of tangled sheets, burning candles, discarded clothing and weapons.

Dawn brought sunlight streaming through the windows to a group moving on a double sized bed; one kunoichi with short black hair, deep black eyes and a body slender but with obvious power within- like a dancer.

Several identical blond males, shadow clones, expertly pleasured the slender, raven haired girl; two manipulated her feet, rubbing and pressing into the muscles and joints in a sensual massage, another lay at her side feeding her grapes, yet another, presumably the original lay atop the woman in the missionary position.

The door flew open snapping the lock and a gigantic form, the body of an ogre, the face of a bizarre gnome-like creature burst in.

Akatsuchi, ninja of the village hidden in the stones had burst in-his bizarre features contorted in rage and embarrassment.

"You! Whoever you are! Her grandfather will hear of this and you and all you care about are dead! DEAD!" The huge man then ran away sobbing.

Confused, Naruto looked down at an amused looking Kurotsuchi. "So… who is your grandfather?"

"The Tsuchikage." The dark-eyed girl smirked, lounging deeper back in the sweat stained bed stretching like a cat.

Naruto paused. "You're that Kurotsuchi?"

"It is a common name in Iwa. So, you wanna stop?" She taunted in a sing song voice.

Naruto stopped as though in deep thought for a moment.

"No." He and the clones continued servicing the slender girl beneath and between them.

_End Flashback No 3._

**-X-**

"Or how about…"

**Flashback No 4;**

Nara Shikamaru (or what looked like him- in fact it was Naruto under transformation) stood in front of Temari of the Sand who wore her standard black and red battle kimono.

"You needed something from me, my lady?" He stared at Temari imitating the Nara's lazy drawl and stance perfectly.

The wind mistress looked at him in savage interest.

"Yeah I did."

Temari sneered at him commanding him to disrobe then stand at attention eyes closed. He did so while the wind kunoichi stalked around him harshly inspecting him. She poked Naruto/Shikamaru in contempt.

"It was my understanding that the hidden leaf forged strong men. Warriors. Or are you a clerk or something? Perhaps you're a nurse limited to cleaning up old ladies vomit. I don't see what else these stick thin limbs and tiny torso could do..." She taunted ignoring the fact that most shinobi she knew weren't giants. Her brother, one of the most powerful shinobi in the world was a runt who barely made it up to her chest.

"No Temari-san. I'm a tactician type." Faux-Shikamaru drawled in perfect rendition of lazy Nara speech.

Temari twisted one of Naruto's nipples. He scowled in pain and complained about it. For the complaining he got his toes stepped on, for failing to 'address his better correctly' he got his balls squeezed violently.

Keeping hold of his balls Temari spoke; "A tactician? As in a weakling who stands back and lets strong men and women do the hard work? Am I right bitch?"

FauxShikamaru winced at Temari's grip and harsh words. Beneath Naruto was amused at the kunoichi's combative nature and emotions towards the lazy Shikamaru.

"Yeah... I mean, yes, you're totally right about me Temari-san..." Temari banged her fan on the floor, the room shook and the dark-haired illusion winced.

"You are dumb as shit as well as lazy. A rank and file weakling such as you should call me Temari-sama!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Temari-sama!" He blurted.

Temari scrutanised the pain-stricken male.

"You say sorry a lot and easily. Who else have you been apologizing to you weakling?"

"No one, I just want to properly convey my regret to you, Temari-sama."

Snorting, Temari yanked the false Shikamaru across the room by the balls and bent him over a bench, she continued to degrade and insult him as she picked out a black riding crop from a nearby chest. She spun it around in her hand like a baton.

Temari reared back with the flogger and Naruto steeled himself to maintain the transformation illusion through the impact and pain. It would make Temari REALLY angry otherwise.

"This, you lazy vermin, is for arrogantly considering yourself amongst the best ninja in the world." CRACK! "-and this is for you calling yourself a ninja in the first place!" CRACK! "And this is for taking credit from others." CRACK! "These are for boring the crowd at our chunin exam match to tears." CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! "And this is for your underachieving in your career!" CRACK! "And for lazily copying your clans jutsu- not adding anything new!" CRACK! "You unimaginative- lazy- good for nothing..."

She went on like that for a good few minutes until... finally...

"Alright you lazy cissy it's time to put your whole ass into something. Get over here!"

"…yes Temari!"

"Yes, Temari-sama to you, you punk!" She shouted as she struck out with a new weapon, a wicked long bullwhip that looked vicious enough to shred muscles and cause serious injury.

On his knees before Temari, the roleplaying ninja eased his hands up the sand kunoichis strong legs caressing them like they were a priceless treasure.

His mouth followed, sensual and submissive. Temari placed Naruto between his legs holding onto his head with her hands. Naruto panicked wondering if Temari would notice the difference between the observed hair and the real blond locks beneath. Temari showed no signs of caring and under her bold instruction he began undressing her as she began lashing his back with the whip.

Little did Naruto or Temari know that Kankuro had left several eyes from his puppets in the room and was using the D_isplaced Observation Technique_ to look through their eyes and watch the whole scene.

About five minutes later the door opened;

"Temari, I need-" Gaara of the desert, S-class ninja, youngest kage in history, the Kazekage and container of the horrific Shukaku froze .

"Er... hi Gaara." Temari weakly mumbled. She was suspended in the air with her legs wrapped around the head of the still transformed Naruto holding her high enough in the air to touch the ceiling while he held onto her and pleasured her lower regions with his fingers and tongue despite not being able to see anything with Temari very much in his face.. Despite her precarious position, Temari had still continued to lash her partners back and arms with the new, more painful whip though no marks showed on the body thanks to Naruto's inability to modify the illusion to create matching bruises while holding the jutsu against Temari's assault. The sexual tower they'd created collapsed with Temari breaking her fall thanks to Naruto while the disguised Jinchuriki fell on his ass and back, naked on the floor only five feet away from Gaara.

The jinchuriki/Kazekage stood in the doorway immobile for five terrifying seconds. Then he roared;

"INFINITE SAND HELL!"

_End Flashback No 4._

**-X-**

"Thank you for reminding me of that. I'm still picking the sand out of my body."

Trying to defuse the situation Shizune laughed nervously; "Heh heh heh… let's not forget Naruto's contributions to the leaf… l-like the alliance with the Nadeshiko village-" The medic winced and felt the need to kick herself as she remembered how Naruto had secured that alliance;

**Flashback No 5;**

Naruto stood, his standard leaf ninja outfit torn in several places, black pants unbuckled and half way down his legs, holding the kunoichi known as Shizuka in a similar state of undress, his hands, her strong legs were wrapped around his waist as he screwed her against the burning wreck of the imbecilic Kokuyo's latest puppet war machine.

Arms above her head, body stretched and tense, Shizuka's head rapped against the fuuinjutsu reinforced wood of the shattered war machine, her green eyes were closed, her mouth was wide, her knees were gripping Naruto's sides near crushing tight. The impressive volume of her cleavage molded against Naruto's chest while he gripped her wrists bruising tight as she pushed against Naruto's control of her body.

Seemingly with violence, he shoved her against a wall. He tore the clothing covering her breasts away further exposing her.  
His fingers invaded her clothing through the tear, roughly, they moved down to her stomach and stopped at her crotch to play with her there.

The superhuman pair grappled with each other, Naruto was simultaneously holding while pleasuring Shizuka while the kunoichi was looking for a nerve cluster or some other weak spot to strike on the blond's body.

Shizuka saw a blur in the corner of her eyes even though she was pressed down on a table and reacted, keeping Naruto preoccupied with her impressive cleavage.

She charged her chakra, transmuted it into wind (her affinity) at that moment Naruto spun off the table pulling Shizuka with him. She saw a bizarre construct, another of the absurd puppets of the grotesque puppeteer Kokuyo, much to her disgust.

Scowling in disgust Shizuka released her attack.

_'Nadeshiko-style; wind pike!'_

A corkscrewing rush of wind chakra, sharp enough to cut through steel, compressed to incredible pressure and fired at speed impossible for an average man to dodge exploded from the kunoichi's mouth. The spinning bolt of wind drove into the puppets armored midsection turning the bizarre construct into splinters.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Shizuka cried out in shock. In a forceful, precise thrust, Naruto had penetrated the Nadeshiko clan leader with a very large and steel hard erection.

Through the agony Shizuka wondered if he knew a puppetmaster was attacking them.

Shizuka pulled her legs up and locked Naruto's body between her knees. While she didn't want these incredible sensations of being fucked to stop, she didn't want to be under the control of any man, let alone this lunatic.

Shizuka could feel the huge cock moving up and down inside her, she was virginal before this event but luckily had lost her hymen to extensive flexibility training years earlier. Shizuka would later thank that flexibility training for the reason she wasn't physically split in two by the huge male meat driving in and out of her.

Shizuka felt herself being slammed herself back against the wall she was held about so hard she nearly cracked it. Her hands were being held bruising tight and her body was being slammed into with enough force to make a sound like a smack with each entrance. She could feel Naruto's physical strength, his body heat and the sheer immense amounts of chakra spilling off him as they violently coupled.

Naruto spun her around and Shizuka saw another puppet (this one shaped like a dog) and shot it to pieces too, actually orgasming into Naruto on the shots and crying out in ecstasy.

Naruto took his hands off Shizuka's wrists and grabbed onto her ass, watching as the beautiful kunoichi gasped mouth wide open, eyes closed in ecstasy as he came into her. The longs, strong legs around his waist adjusted from guard position to wrapping around Naruto's waist like a normal lover would do, gripping tight as they continued.

With her newly freed hands Shizuka dispatched a third puppet with _Nadeshiko-style; palm wind bolt_. Naruto carried Shizuka into the center of the room then began spinning them both 360 degrees holding a speared Shizuka who fired multiple jutsu and hidden kunai brought from… somewhere turning puppets into splinters before they could fire a shot at the mating pair.

When they stopped spinning, both male and female looked at each other, covered in sweat, though Naruto looked more composed than the kunoichi whose eyes were half closed, jaw grit and chest heaving from breathing hard.

Just when it looked like Shizuka was about to bring a hand down to attack Naruto rammed her into a wall so hard it really did crack this time. Strangely the in pain kunoichi gasped out in pain, smiling and breathing in pleasure as she arched back against the destroyed wall.

A man; bizarrely dressed in a purple- or was it pink- jacket and shirt, rectangular spectacles and a haircut that would scream smug, greasy prick if Naruto could be bothered to look.

"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are smashing my puppets!? Also that's my future wife you're banging you-"

Naruto cut him off by driving a wind scimitar through his head. He cancelled the wind jutsu and returned the hand to administering to the extraordinary work of art that was Shizuka's body.

"That guy was annoying… where'd all these wooden things come from?" He looked around the room in confusion.

Exhausted and overwhelmed, Shizuka didn't know if he was being serious.

Before she could ask Naruto went back to pumping in and out of her so hard she couldn't speak… or think for that matter.

_End Flashback 5._

**-X-**

Shizune's smile grew wider, "How about that raid he led on Orochimaru's bases? That crippled his whole network of schemes across the country?"

"Yes, that was an excellent job. I am not crazy on how you got that intel though…"

**Flashback No 6;**

Still dressed in full ANBU armor Naruto drove at bone breaking force into the sound ninja known as Tayuya who swore spastically as she was fucked, bent over at the waist over the cold, metal interrogation table bolted to the floor unknowing or uncaring that they were being watched.

"What kind of interrogation technique is that?" Ibiki groused. Anko stood next to him grinning as she took lots of pictures with a camera.

_End Flashback No 6._

**-X-**

"Enough! Naruto you're a perverse asshole. That seems unable to not screw everything with a vagina-"

"I never had sex with Haruno Sakura." He blithely pointed out.

"Shut up. But you are an effective ANBU operative and I have a mission for you. Because everyone else is unavailable"

"Oh, glad to be appreciated." Naruto quipped.

She breathed. "It's a termination mission in Kasuka Town in bachiatari no kuni."

Another breath. "The target is Uchiha Sasuke."

"Anything else?"

Tsunade blinked. Naruto was cold but this was something else.

"I just told you to kill a former leaf ninja. Don't you feel anything about this? Doubt? Guilt? A need for further information on what Sasuke's been doing the past few years? Sympathy for one who lost their family?"

"No."

Tsunade, and many others frequently forgot that Naruto's charm hid a very pronounced darkness that worried many people.

"Any feelings at all for Sasuke's."

"I don't play that aisle." It was meant as a joke but Tsunade knew better. The Slug queen knew she'd get no answers from Naruto when he retreated behind his laid-back charmer facade. So he sent him on his way. And hoped she wasn't making a terrible mistake.

**-X-**

Out in the hallway, Naruto ran into Yamanka Ino, an up and coming member of the leafs Psy-ops corps and who had recently done a 'profile' on Naruto. A deeply personal profile that included the use of a steel table, a coach, several chairs, a desk and creative uses of a sickle and chain...

"Naruto! Back from a long term mission? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Just an aid mission to our new allies in the Mist. Nothing too strenuous."

"There isn't much information on the new Mizukage... just stories of her being immensely powerful, having two kekkei genkai, one being native of earth country? It would be a big help if you could pass along any information you have on encounters with her..."

Though his poker face was so perfect a doujutsu user wouldn't have seen through it, Naruto had had encounters with her alright. Encounters in battle when he and his team helped her assassinate the tyrant Yagura, encounters in the political field when she united the fractured land of water under a banner of peace, encounters in private as they tore apart the quarters of Yagura's fortress with violent carnal lovemaking...

"You have personal contact with her right? You _were_ in the hidden mist for a month..."

Naruto's face went cold. "A month? It's May?"

Ino nodded, slightly disturbed by his mood shift. "Yes, the Summer festival is in two weeks."

"Excuse me, I have a mission to get to." With a face of stone Naruto walked past the Yamanaka who didn't try to stop him, realizing that Naruto had stopped seeing her as soon as she mentioned the festival and having a good idea of why.

**-X-**

**Residence, District five...**

Naruto entered his house in the reasonably upscale fifth district.

The one story house was spotlessly clean except for the living room which was well lived-in; a slightly battered table dominated the middle of the room with well-worn but razor sharp kunai lying next to junk food on top of it. The curtains were drawn casting the room in darkness. A desk covered in scrolls and weapons stood next to a coach with a blanket and pillow over it. Naruto had been sleeping on it in lieu of the proper bed upstairs. The rest of the house was clean except for dust- none of Naruto's 'partners' came here. Only one woman ever had, and he didn't want to be reminded of her, internally questioning for the thousandth time why he didn't just sell this damn house.

**-X-**

In the bathroom Naruto towelled off after a shower. He stepped out to the mirror. His body didn't have any scars on it due to the healing abilities of the tailed beast inside him. As a member of the ANBU's top external elimination force Naruto had been in more battles and taken more injuries than he could remember; knives, flame, electrocution, acid, needles, broken bones, ruptured internal organs, nerve damage, the worst was during the op to kill the Mizukage Yagura, almost all of his skin had been burnt off by corrosive mist.

"What... are you looking at?" He said to the reflection. He toweled his face. He looked back at the mirror scrutinizing his still teenaged appearance in seeming contempt. Then it turned to cocky bluster.

"I hate it when you look at me like that."

Fully equipped, he paused in the living room.

_'After killing Sasuke, I need to find something to occupy me... I don't want to be back before the festivals done...'_ He had turned to a picture taken at such a festival. It showed the one girl Naruto actually had cared about. The one who saw who Naruto actually was.

It showed Hyuga Hinata. Naruto stared at the picture for a long time before leaving for the Land of the Cursed.

**-X-**

**END CHAPTER 2**

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTES**

**Naruto's persona and nickname;** this version of Naruto originated as a swipe at the usually godawful Naruto's that show up in godawful harem fics, maybe with a bit of Red Dwarf's Ace Rimmer mixed in. This character is meant as a swipe at the Strong!Naruto trope much like Samui is meant as a swipe at the 'Ninja being sneaky?! How dare they?' and 'Marshmallow hell' and 'Boobs of steel' tropes amongst others.

**The Flashbacks;** originally I had Naruto screw seemingly every half attractive female in the Narutoverse, but the drafts read like a lame harem fic that was just me going down a list of interchangeable shallow characatures. I rewrote it with fewer partners with each pairing modelled after personality traits of the female involvedto individualise them, an example being Temari being the dominant in roleplaying BDSM with Naruto (this reflects both Temari's in control (domineering) personality and her canon relationship with notice that in each pairing Naruto's personality seems to shift to accommodate who he's with; with Temari he's submissive, with Kurotsuchi he's playful and accommodating, with Shizuka and Tayuya he's the dominant. This is meant both as a swipe at the whole Mask!Naruto trope and has an important plot point that will be further played out when Naruto meets Samui. In the story it happens due to Naruto not growing up in a normal environment not really being right in the head.

**Characters pasts;** several characters have had certain aspects of their background changed, example Tsunade lost an unborn child and Ino is a member of the Torture and Interrogation Department.

**Displaced Observation Technique(original jutsu);** a technique used by puppetmasters to see through the eyes of their puppets similar to how Gaara sees through his third eye of sand.

**Infinite Sand Hell**, eye witness accounts of this technique vary, although several have commented that the attack inflicts so much pain on the target that those who survive it would rather die.


	3. Chapter 3 It's all in the preparation

**NOTHING PERSONAL**

**CHAPTER 3.1- IT'S ALL IN THE PREPARATION **

**AUTHORS NOTES**

**Chapter 3 has been broken into two parts due to it being too large, the next chapter has the fight scene. **

**AU take involving a very different Naruto.**

**This fic is multiple pairing.**

**'This' means someone is thinking.**

**Italics alone means the name of something, i.e. Jinchuriki, Katon Jutsu.**

**Horizontal ruler (a line across the page) means a page break or timeskip. It may be a few minutes, it may be a few hours...**

**-X- means a scene change, i.e. we start with Sakura in a clearing, then we go to Naruto in the street.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto or any of the characters or ideas involved. This is non-profit-I am making no money from this.**

* * *

**Kasuka town...**

Samui looked into the full body mirror preparing for her confrontation with Uzumaki Naruto.

Without seals or the usual puff of smoke she transformed; a tube of black rubber wrapped around her curvaceous body. A dress (allegedly), beginning at her strong shoulders with thin straps diving down to connect to a deep V that squeezed her large breasts up and together creating a delicious bosom mountain. The black material pulled tightly down to her hourglass figure, past her wide hips and ending mere millimeters from her most private area and wrapping around her body so tight it left nothing to the imagination fitting her voluptuous form like a second skin. On her feet were knee high boots of the same glistening material with arm gloves caressing her limbs from just below the shoulder to her fingertips.

The outfit was of prostitutes in Amegakure. Call girls there wore water resistant rubber outfits as the silk and other garments of woman of the night were neither sexy nor easy to get out of when drenched in the never ending rain. The outfits had spread across the lands in popularity due to their sensuality.

Turning to inspect her awe-inspiring form, the kunoichi clinically studied the curve of her own butt, both ass cheeks clearly visible straining against the black material. The kunoichi imagined the encounter, presenting herself to Uzumaki as a prostitute;

_She stood before the blond ninja, hands on drool-inducing hips caresses by rubber, she turned to the side so the male saw the sheer size of her breasts despite the tight garment squeezing the mounds back against her chest._

_"Hey, stud, wanna burn a few hours?"_

Samui frowned.

_'No. Too direct. And surely someone else has tried this technique against Uzumaki before.'_

She shifted again, becoming a different type of call girl. She now wore a scandalously short kimono, pink in colour. Emulating Momiji, an informant of hers in Tanzaku town; the expression on her usually stoic face changed to a very inappropriate seductive smile with mischief in her blue eyes, her dangling breasts so large they obscured the hands on her thighs and her legs above the knee.

"Hey young warrior, food and rest will restore-" She paused bent over and considering a flirtacious wink.

_'No. What person besides that cretin Jiraiya would fall for such tricks?'_

Half a continent away the real Jiraiya sneezed.

Another transformation, this time Samui's clothing became socially acceptable, somewhat baggy, with a mid-length red skirt. Samui's features looked younger. Her hair was longer and split into long pigtails that reached to the small of her back, in contrast to oversized ninja weapons pouches strapped onto her still wide thighs.

"EEEE! NARUTO-SAMA YOU'RE SO COOL! CAN YOU TEACH ME TO BE AS AWESOME AS YOU? PLEASE?" Samui broke the illusion immediately feeling the need to punch herself. She despised fangirls, short-lived as they were in Kumo.

She transformed into a waitress, she wondered if she could poison Uzumaki via food.

_'No. Too many variables. Also there's contrasting reports on whether poison actually works on Jinchuriki.'_

Also she would attract too much attention. She experimented by adjusting her bust size from its improbable High F-cup to a near flat A-cup. Before discarding the idea.

Her next transformation was that of a more sexualized version of a secretary she met while infiltrating the corrupt tycoon Gato's organization. She stood wearing a dangerously tight-fitting black silk business jacket with no shirt beneath, a skirt, scandalously north of the knee wrapped around wide thighs caressed by black stockings leading miles down to shapely feet in heels. Her hair was up in a stylish bun. Unneeded glasses graced her lovely face, she tilted them down coyly.

"Mr Uzumaki, I think you will… approve of my proposal… I believe you will enjoy… my new proposal… negotiation are so tiring…"

"Hmm, maybe I'm going about this the wrong way…"

**-X-**

**Elsewhere…**

In the darkness of a now dead hideout, ashes were all that remained of the once mighty shadow master of Akatsuki, two of his supposed 'subordinates' stood over his remains.

"It is as your eavesdropping seals stated. Tobi is dead."

One of the shinobi, a tall kunoichi with stylized blue hair and amber eyes raised a hand and a piece of paper, lying inert on the wall to avoid the chakra detection capabilities of the sharingan, changed colour, detached itself from the cold stone like a living being and flew to its creator. A highly compressed sound capture seal visible on its white surface.

So many of sealing jutsus abilities were not known- like the ability for certain seals to absorb the air vibrations that contained speech, store them, even transmit them to another place like what Konan and her displaced listener jutsu had performed. She had acquired much valuable intelligence on the arrogant Uchiha thanks to the fool dismissing Konan as the assistant- even hanger on to the monstrously powerful Pain.

"It was the Amaterasu, and Sasuke is gone."

"So our 'shadow master' got overconfident, and Itachi struck at him. From beyond the grave it seems." Minor amusement creeped into the dark monotone on the rinnegan user.

"We still have concerns… Zetsu was here earlier…" Konan reported activating a slip of paper in her hand. Sound erupted from it; distorted, the tones and pitch vibrating, but still recognizable as the dual dialogue of Tobi's right hand man.

_"Tobi is dead."_ A soft voice whispered.

_"**By the Amaterasu. It was Itachi. Some kind of trap set by the traitor!**" _The rougher voice of Black Zetsu replied.

_"Does this mean-" "**Yes! We activate Tobi's fail-safe contingency plan. Scorched Earth!**"_

The unnatural sounds cut out.

"So that pitiful wraith had contingencies… something that warped creature called 'Scorched Earth'."

"How does this affect our plans?" Konan asked.

"I always intended on killing Zetsu after his master, it was simply that his powers and knowledge of various events worried me. I was concerned he was hiding his full power from me." He kicked the corpse of the despised Akatsuki ghost ninja.

"Huh, guess not." Definite amusement sounded in the usually apathetic beings voice.

"So what is our next move, Pain?" The equally cold woman asked.

"We go hunting."

**-X-**

Dressed as a nondescript traveler, Uzumaki Naruto strode through Kasuka town, he walked past traders and tourists, carts and stands of merchandise and trees, his hyperaware jinchuriki senses telling him the position of every moving object larger than ant, identifying a hundred sweet smells and sifting through an ocean of noise in the sounds of crowds.

And then his superhuman area awareness vanished. All of his senses instead were focused on one woman who stood out like a flare in the night sky.

Naruto studied her. There was something about her, her clothes were far too elegant for this town, she had expensive ornaments in her short blond hair that set her out of place in this town. She wore an elegant black and white kimono that did little to hide a body that a crude person would say was in danger of bursting out from their clothing. She was stunning in her allure and sensuality, looking like she walked the line between elegant and drop-dead sexy.

Her face was intriguing too; cold blue eyes, in features that Naruto oddly thought were peering through him despite her not looking at him

Naruto followed behind the exotic woman. The ornate kimono she wore did little to hide her curvaceous body and the Jinchuriki's eyes knifed down to her ass which moved in the most intriguing way as she walked.

The sensual blond strode with all the station of an empress, her eyes not focusing on anyone or anything around her. As though all in her sight were unworthy of her attention.

Naruto was absently thinking how much she reminded him of priestess Shion when she strayed too close to an alleyway and a dirty hand reached out and grabbed her, pulling her out of sight. Naruto growled and raced after her.

He sensed a flash of chakra and Naruto found nothing in the dirty alley. Ignoring the ANBU training drilled into him since he was barely more than a toddler, he ran forth. He regretted it when the dirt floor collapsed, sending him plummeting into darkness.

_'And that is why you shouldn't chase after exotic women.'_

**END CHAPTER 3.1**


	4. Chapter 4 Killbox

**NOTHING PERSONAL**

**CHAPTER 3.2- KILLBOX**

**AUTHORS NOTES**

**This is the second part of what was once one chapter- it was split up due to its sheer size.**

**AU take involving a very different Naruto.**

**This fic is multiple pairing.**

**'This' means someone is thinking.**

**Italics alone means the name of something, i.e. Jinchuriki, Katon Jutsu.**

**Horizontal ruler (a line across the page) means a page break or timeskip. It may be a few minutes, it may be a few hours...**

**-X- means a scene change, i.e. we start with Sakura in a clearing, then we go to Naruto in the street.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto or any of the characters or ideas involved. This is non-profit-I am making no money from this.**

* * *

**Beneath Kasuka Town...**

A barrier of chakra erupted into life above him, trapping him. The fall wasn't far- only a hundred feet- like stepping off a doorstep for the Jinchuriki.

Around him canisters exploded spreading deep purple colored (no doubt poisonous) gas. Without a breath Naruto reacted;

_'Wind style; Gale wave.'_

His chakra erupted from tenketsu all across his body, interacted with the atmosphere and transmuted into wind. Manipulated by Naruto's will an artificial cyclone that to the unenlightened would seem to come out of nowhere, displaced all of the gas in the chamber until Naruto saw an escape route. Behind another, weaker chakra shield glimmering to his 10 O'clock.

He flashed through hand seals; _'Lightning style; White mountain piercer.' _He put both hands together. From them shot two bolts of lightning, spiraling around each other at insane speed. They collided with the shield and it sputtered out of commission.

Naruto recklessly dived through. Seeing more ominous looking canisters Naruto buried them with _Earth style; Swamp trap zone_, sinking them into quicksand that within seconds hardened back into solid stone. He did not notice however, seals hidden higher up in the stone walls. Possessing vibration sensors, they activated after he passed them, unleashing waves of poison drenched senbon that he effortlessly batted away with his kunai.

_'These traps are obviously professional, and this tunnel system's been here a while. The brief about Kasuka town did say the village had a network of tunnels built during the last war. So who's using them?'_

**-X-**

Leaping out into a vast cavern, Naruto saw his quarry, an unremarkable looking male in rags and bandages. He had the elegant woman held by the arm viciously waving a kunai at her, a mark on her face indicated he'd struck her at least once, angering Naruto.

The kidnapper turned and saw Naruto. He opened his mouth to rant something… Naruto hated it when men didn't shut up.

He channeled chakra to his foot, transmuted it to the element of earth;

_'Earth style; Wide shockwave.'_

Simultaneously he transmuted chakra of both arms into his native wind;

_'Wind style Gale burst.'_

Almost simultaneously, the tunnels floor seemingly liquefied, while the air was torn asunder by the pressure wave, the two elemental techniques set off multiple traps hidden beneath the dirt, pasted across walls and some even concealed by jutsu.

Under the tutelage of the third Hokage, Naruto had learned to use all chakra elements. Wind was his best at S class, but earth, fire, water and lightning were all his to utilize with varying degrees of proficiency. Furthermore, _'The Professor'_ as Sarutobi Hiruzen was called, was famous throughout the shinobi world for his collaboration techniques; average shinobi performed a single jutsu in a matter of seconds but both the third and Naruto could engage multiple techniques simultaneously by keeping streams of elemental chakra separate from each other within the body.

It was not unusual to see Naruto achieve feats like spewing flames from his mouth to fry enemies ten meters away while simultaneously bifurcating multiple close-range targets with dual vacuum blades erupting from dual kunai.

Against this power, the kidnapper could do no more than scream and panic as he stumbled back. Naruto planned to body flicker over to him and drive a blade between the second and third vertebrae surgically killing him.

**SCHHLUKKK!**

His cold, concise plan was cut off by the kidnapped woman pulling a kunai from the kidnapper's belt and stabbing it into his neck.

Then again. And again.

The kidnapper fell to the ground choking on his own blood. and the hysterical woman followed him stabbing viciously as his blood spattered all over her.

Suddenly she stopped. The blond looked dazed. Naruto absently noticed that even with blood mixing with tears she looked beautiful.

_'It's not twisted to appreciate a woman's beauty even through the reality of death.'_ He reasoned to himself as he body-flickered in and lightly took her arm.

"It's okay, you're safe now. You're safe."

She dropped the kunai and sobbed before lunging at Naruto in a hug. Naruto held her trying to think of something to say when he felt the woman's hand ghost to the back of the Jinchuriki's neck. Naruto sensed the surge of chakra too late.

"!?..."

His body froze as Samui planted a paralysis seal on the back of his neck, immobilizing him. Samui pulled away. She took a handkerchief out and wiped away the tears and blood from her face. Her demeanour as stoic as a marble statue. Naruto realized he'd been played.

"Thank you for saving me Uzumaki-san."

"You planted those traps…"

Samui nodded then adjusted herself and him, she sat in his lap, trapping Naruto's now useless arms between her legs. She opened her robe slightly and pulled the suddenly conflicted Naruto's head into the valley between her huge breasts…

"Shhh… relax, deep breaths now…" Her legs around Naruto's body began tightening, constricting upon Naruto's lower body. Realizing what was happening, the leaf ninja fought past the absurdity of dying via fetishized execution by bosom and reasoned;

_'Sealing jutsu… if it's like the Juinjutsu those Root drones use…'_

Naruto focused (not easy to do when paralyzed and enwrapped and constricted by a truly amazing body), he built up as much chakra in the tenketsu located in his brain as he could, and began the _'pebble becomes avalanche technique'_, a build-up of chakra that cascades from the chakra points in the head (the ones least likely to be affected by paralysis techniques since shots to the head usually kill) to disrupt paralysis techniques.

It worked, the seal destabilized, then broke. With motor control restored Naruto broke the impressively strong leg-lock around his waist and shoved the shocked kunoichi off him.

The sitting blond scowled then… glowed golden.

Naruto body flickered away as fast as he could- it wasn't fast enough- explosive tags attached to the shadow clone, generating a false chakra signature and hidden via a cloaking technique, detonated.

**BOOOOMM!**

The blast wave sent Naruto flying. He twisted in mid-air and though his ears were ringing and sense of touch tingling he still sensed kunai flying through the air at him; he reacted with years of training and instinct.

_'Water style; Water prison.'_ He generated a water cocoon around himself following instinct. It paid off as milliseconds later, kunai stabbed into the water dome.

The kunai exploded and the bubble ruptured.

A net came flying from somewhere, rope. The ANBU operator reacted still on instinct;

_'Fire style; Great flame bomb!'_

The attack was two-fold, first destroy the net, second cause an explosion to disorient whoever was attacking him, he had blundered into a very well done trap and could not try to blunder out of it.

_'Earth style; Underground fish.'_ He intended to disappear beneath the earth and escape via burrowing. But the earth consistency did not change to liquid as it should have.

_'What…!?'_

In cover, Samui observed that her structural integrity seals had worked. They required massive amounts of chakra, but earth techniques that required altering the environment would not function as long as the seals were intact and functional.

More kunai flew in, Naruto forced his overwhelmed nerves to feel the atmospheric disruption that announced their approach and narrowly dodged them.

When he landed he was bleeding, nearly blind, near deaf, even his sense of smell was shot.

A figure stepped out. It was the blond from earlier, no longer dressed like royalty, she now wore a type of battle kimono. A flattering one at that. After doing a hyper-fast battle assessment. Naruto blinked;

"I didn't know Tsunade had a daughter." He joked at the stranger, attempting charm was hard when bleeding and burnt.

"You should have just died in my arms Uzumaki-san. This will be far less pleasant."

Before Naruto could respond with a stupid quip she hurled a kunai at him, Naruto made to dodge when the kunai exploded into hundreds of tiny blades attached to ropes that erupted from seals on the thrown blade.

Naruto stuck his hands out;

_'Barrier jutsu; Wall!'_ From his palms erupted streams of energy that rapidly merged and coalesced into a 7 foot tall energy shield, from the attacker's view the shield looked almost like a fountain when seen from above. The dozens of poison tipped blades struck the streaming energy and bounced off mostly sticking into the floor and walls of the cave.

Aware of Naruto's proficiency with barrier jutsu, Samui instantly threw another specialised kunai.

Naruto blinked when another weapon struck his barrier and began absorbing the energy of the defensive jutsu like a sponge.

_'Chakra absorption seal-?!'_

Yet another kunai flew from the apparent seal expert; this one a standard multi-use ninja blade with a mere explosive note attached. That flew straight through a gap in the now failing chakra shield.

Naruto leap into a replacement jutsu with a boulder behind him.

Which was what Samui knew he was going to do.

Amidst the arsenal of jutsu seared into the walls of Samui's killbox_,_ seal disruptors activated, disrupting the tunnel of displacement causing the once again trumped leaf ninja to fall out nearly breaking both legs.

Unrelenting, the cloud ninja hurled yet another tagged kunai at the fallen Naruto.

Annoyed, Naruto sealessly spewed _Wind style; Great Breakthrough_, so massive it tore chunks out of the floor and walls of the tunnel, its power more than sufficient to push the kunai away and break Samui's line of sight of her target. Except that the unyielding kunoichi knew the attack was coming.

The cloud ninja flipped through handseals and deployed something more conventional;_ 'Fire style: fire dragon bullet!'_

A stream of searing flame launched from Samui's mouth, it absorbed the artificial gale Naruto had created, grew to encompass the entire tunnel and sped up incinerating all in its path.

A moment later Samui carefully studied the now smoldering area. Her eyes widened when she realized the combined fire/wind jutsu had destroyed the seals on the walls preventing alterations to the ground. She realised her mistake one instant before Naruto exploded from the ground behind her and punched her in the face, knocking the kunoichi out.

"Not my usual level of chivalry…" A singed, battered and bloody Naruto muttered out loud looking down on the woman he had just decked.

**CHAPTER 3.2 END**

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTES**

**POWER LEVELS:**

**Shinobi power ranking**

0- Civilian (Nonexistent)  
1- Academy Student  
2- Genin  
3- Advanced Genin  
4- Low Chuunin  
5- Chuunin  
6- Elite Chuunin  
7- Low Jounin  
8- Jounin  
9- Elite Jounin  
10- Kage (S-Class)  
11- Legend (essentially without peer in the known shinobi world in the relevant category, having at most one or two others capable of matching his/her level)

P**ower ranking**

Naruto (N) Samui (S)

**Ninjutsu- **(N)**10 **(S)**6**

**Genjutsu- **(N)**5 **(S)**5**

**Taijutsu- **(N)**8 **(S)**6**

**Weapons- **(N)**5 **(S)**8**

**Fuuinjutsu- **(N)**6 **(S)**10**

**Chakra level- **(N)**11 **(S)**9**

**Durability- **(N)**10 **(S)**6**

**Elemental manipulation levels**

**Fire-** (N)**C **(S)**C**

**Water-** (N)**A** (S)**D**

**Wind-** (N)**S** (S)**F(NONE)**

**Lightning-** (N)**C** (S)**C**

**Earth-** (N)**B** (S)**F(NONE)**

**Shadow-Light/Yin-Yang**\- (N)**C **(S)**S**

Note that I've decided that Fuuinjutsu is **Yin-Yang** style (canon _doesn't_ explain what sealing jutsu is and Yin-Yang is used to just hand wave away stuff that doesn't conform to the series power laws- magic basically).

**Original Jutsu List;**

**Displaced Listener (B-Rank); **developed by Konan for surveillance-

Created by inscribing a sealing array onto a material (usually paper) that is compressed so far that its chakra signature when recording and physical appearance is undetectable except to sensor type ninja and byakugan users. When using this technique in conjunction with her own unique physiology (her skin) the seal and its container change colour to camouflage against the surface it is in contact with.

**Wind style: Gale Wave (B-Rank); **A relatively low power area effect jutsu that erupts from every point on the users body (not just the hands or mouth like most jutsu). Can be used both offensively and defensively.

**Lightning style: White Mountain Piercer (A-Rank);** Actually based on Picollos's Special Beam Cannon (two energy streams tightly coiling around each other). I got the idea from watching DragonBall Z Abridged by Team Four Star.

WMP's destructive power is more like a long-range Chidori though.

**Earth style: Swamp Trap Zone (C-Rank);** Basically Jiraiya's Dark Swamp on a much smaller scale- I'm basing this on Jiraiya turning dozens of meters of solid ground into quicksand when drugged and at "30%" suggesting the full technique is much grander.

**Earth style: Wide Shockwave (D-Rank);** A localised disruption of the ground around user. Meant to imbalance enemies and cause rockslides. A basic technique taught to all earth users.

**Pebble becomes avalanche (C-Rank);** Counter paralysis technique- Based on the idea that you can't impede brain function (which a paralysis seal should do) without killing someone. A point of chakra in the brain acts like the spark overcoming foreign effects and restoring body functions (to a certain extent). I got the idea for this based on the BS of Sasuke breaking Danzo's paralysis seal by rage powering up.

**Barrier Jutsu: Wall (B-Rank);** Based on the chakra shields used by Chiyo and her puppets, much larger though.

**Sealing Jutsu: Wandering Sealing Method (A-Rank**); Samui inscribes various weapons (preferably kunai) with various sealing arrays;

The first array scans the area looking for incoming jutsu.

Upon detecting a jutsu, the weapons largest and most complicated seal (the storage seal) activates, transmutes the attack into Yin/Yang energy and absorbs it, locking it within the sealing array in stasis.

The effect is similar to when back in Part 1 Jiraiya used sealing jutsu to absorb Itachi's black flames into a harmless scroll. This jutsu is more advanced with no need for the time-consuming method Jiraiya used.

**Sealing Jutsu: Structural integrity reaction seals (B-Rank); **Various fandom has postulated that seals exist that increase a materials strength without increasing its mass or changing its molecular structure Which makes sense given how stupid it would otherwise be to build military buildings out of wood (fandom has also postulated that wood is a good 'conductor' of these seals). The jutsu Samui uses in this chapter is a less powerful version of these techniques; she places sealing arrays on the ground which 'sense' the consistency of the soil, when it detects a change (which using earth jutsu would cause), they activate maintaining the ground at its original consistency. It basically blocks jutsu requiring changing the ground around you.

**Curse Sealing: Trap Touch (C-Rank**); Applied with a single touch of a finger (when mastered), it causes interruption of most voluntary movements (stops motor control but doesn't impede breathing, heartbeat, etc). Operates within localized area of seal contact (when placed on the neck or spine it causes total paralysis from neck down). Samui has more effective methods of paralysis but those require more prep time and have a higher chakra signature making them easier to detect.


End file.
